fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They took my balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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