so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
