I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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