ugly people sure do ruin things
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
