my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
