sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
