nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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