What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
