Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
