Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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