in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
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Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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