I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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