They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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