he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
