I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
