Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
