i think my mom watched the whole time
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
