but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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