you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.