Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus