Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.