she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
