I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
