your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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