There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
