it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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