Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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