Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
