girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize