and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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