Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
