Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
