can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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