I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
