she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
