U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
