Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize