I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How does it feel to date your dad?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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