some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
