just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
