These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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