well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
