If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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