If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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