What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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