Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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