I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
