OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
