I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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