That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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