Porn is love you can see.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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