I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
