I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
