I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
