1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
