Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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