i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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