I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
