I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize