i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I want is dick and wine.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
