no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
