i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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