whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
try to milk me bitch
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