Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
