dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
